Some Basic Considerations about Marriage

I’ve been reading through Jay Adams’ book entitled “Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible” which I bought here. In chapter 1 which is entitled “Some Basic Considerations about Marriage,” he makes some good points about the nature of marriage, excerpts of which are posted below.

Contrary to much contemporary thought and teaching, marriage is not a human
expedience. It wasn’t devised by man, somewhere along the way in the course of
human history, as a convenient way of sorting out responsibilities for children,
etc. Instead, God tells us that He Himself established, instituted and ordained
marriage at the beginning of human history. (Gen. 2,3)

God designed marriage as the foundational element of all human society.
Before there was (formally speaking) a church, a school, or a business
instituted, God formally instituted marriage, declaring, “A man shall leave his
father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and the two shall become one
flesh.” It is important to teach this fact to young people.

If marriage were of human origin, then human beings would have a right to
set it aside. But since God instituted marriage, only He has the right to do
so…Marriage as an institution (which includes individual marriages, of course)
is subject to the rules and regulations set down by God…God has revealed His
will about marriage in the pages of the Bible. Individuals may marry, divorce
and be remarried only if, when and how He says they may without sinning. We
must, therefore, study and abide by the biblical principles for marriage.
Neither a private individual nor the state has any competence [or right -
Stuart] to decide who may be married (or divorced) and on what
basis...

…Secondly, marriage is a foundational institution. We have seen that it was
the first to be instituted formally as a sphere of human society. Society itself
in all its forms depends on marriage. The attack on marriage, experienced today,
is actually an attack on society itself (and on God, who built society on
marriage). Marriage is also the foundation upon which the church as God’s
special society rests. This covenantal community is weakened as the “house” or
“household” is weakened…an attack on the family is no light matter. Rather, at
once, it constitutes an attack upon God’s order in the world and in His
church.

Thirdly, marriage is not what Roman Catholic theology and many Protestants
(wrongly) have thought -- an institution designed to propagate the human race.
While God has ordained that procreation must be carried on as one duty in
marriage (“Be fruitful, and multiply”), and only within marriage, procreation is
not the fundamental feature of marriage…The human race (like gerbils, white
mice, goats, etc.) could propagate itself quite adequately apart from marriage
by mating…While marriage includes mating as one of its duties, the two must not
be identified…The propagation of the race is a sub-purpose of marriage, not the
major purpose...

…Fourthly, it is important to understand that marriage must not be equated
with sexual relations. A sexual union is not ( as some who carelessly study the
Bible think) to be equated with the marriage union. Marriage is a union that
implies sexual union as a central obligation and pleasure (I Cor. 7:3-5), it is
true, but sexual union does not necessarily imply marriage. Marriage is
different from, bigger than, and inclusive of sexual union (just as it is
inclusive of the obligation to propagate the race), but the two are not the
same. If marriage and sexual union were one and the same, the Bible could not
speak about illicit sexual intercourse; instead (in referring to fornication) it
would talk about informal marriage. Adultery would no longer be adultery, but
informal bigamy (or polygamy). But the Bible does speak of sexual sin outside of
marriage and doesn’t give the slightest credence to the notion that adultery is
bigamy. Throughout, the Scriptures refer to marriage, in itself, as something
other than and distinct from sexual union (licit or illicit)…

…Marriage authorizes sexual relations. The honeymoon union is proper and
holy (Heb. 13:4) only because the young couple is already married, And adultery,
later on, while exerting tremendous strains on the marriage, does not dissolve
it. Sexual relations per se do not make a marriage and do not break a
marriage…

…This point -- that sexual relations do not constitute a marriage -- is
absolutely essential to any proper understanding of marriage, divorce and
remarriage. Marriage is bigger than and distinct from (though inclusive of the
obligation of) sexual union. It is neither constituted nor dissolved by sexual
relations.

If marriage is not to be equated with sexual union or with the propagation
of the race, we must look for the essence of marriage elsewhere.

In the next chapter, Adams explores the Bible’s teaching about the essence of marriage, and I shall, Lord willing, post some of his thoughts on the subject in the very near future.